I started this morning by baking chocolate cookies with peanut butter chips
and cleaning the kitchen (simultaneously) since we are having friends over tonight.
(Thank you Amina for my Cath Kidson cookie cover -
- and credit to Young Knight for the pirate treasure chest). I also promised to bring a treat when I go to my new friend’s house for coffee – a treat presented in a little Easter-decorated goodie bag.
It’s a mom date! I may even wear make-up.
But there’s just a vestige of reluctance in picking up where I left off with baking and hosting and teaching English (and cleaning my house).
There’s perhaps a vestige of sadness over losing my baby. When my gynecologist asked me what happened, I started crying as I told her the sequence of events in clinical terms.
(Perhaps more than a vestige of sadness).
There’s a vestige of … debris remaining in my womb that is still being followed by the doctors and which caused me slight panic on Wednesday that it might be getting infected. (I don’t think it is, and have a follow-up on Tuesday).
I wonder if that’s why my pants still don’t fit? The vestige. No? Grr.
There’s a vestige of trauma among the children. When Young Knight glanced at the frame on a plastic sheet that Sir had painted dark red, he drew a quick breath and said, “I thought that was blood.”
“I thought that was your blood.”
(Sir meticulously cleaned everything when he came home from the hospital, but merely tossed the duvet cover over the sheets. Of course the first thing the kids did in the morning was to jump on our bed and uncover the huge stain).
There is a vestige of fluid behind Petit Prince’s ear, which could be causing his minor hearing problem. We have a fun three weeks ahead of us cleaning his nostrils twice a day with salt water.
There’s a vestige of fear as I tossed and turned this morning wondering what life would be like without Sir, who had the suspected spot removed from his face last night in a highly unpleasant procedure.
“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”
There’s a vestige of work left indoors that our workers have yet to do – in the kitchen
and so that we can use the bathroom sink.
There’s also the studio and terrace yet to be done (ahem) but that won’t start to inconvenience us until summer.
There’s a vestige of late bloomers that I didn’t get around to clipping (while I was not getting around to weeding)
and a bunch of ambitious spring buds
that don’t know it’s January,
and that a cold front is coming in.
There is just a vestige of this whirlwind that recently skittered through our lives, tossing our comfort around like Autumn leaves.
But what do you want to bet, when all is said and done, there won’t even be a vestige of this batch of chocolate cookies left by sundown?
I am sending a ton of hugs winging across the ocean!! Although I know it is impossible not to worry I do pray that you have some peace along with the worry.
And I think you are right, doubtful that any cookies will last past 24 hours