Dogs are gross aren’t they?
I mean they transform my garden.
Oh look! A poopcus.
They eat pigs ears
are those … veins I see?
and cows ears
barbecue flavor anyone?
and beef intestine.
Hunter ripped open the bag of beef intestine (panse de boeuf) and scattered the fine stinky crumbs all over my living room rug, just moments before all my students arrived. I had to whip out the vacuum and open all the windows – stat!
Why don’t you like any of the normal looking stuff?
When we go for a walk, he moves garbage from one location to another and puts everything in his mouth. He eats balloons and creates poops that are half blue or half yellow. He gleefully sucks the yogurt out of a container he found, and I get my fingers all sticky trying to get it out. He stops at every single piece of chewing gum. I never knew how much litter there was.
And yes he started scarfing poop. Who commented that their dog did that again?
Excuse me while I throw up.
Our walks are half misery with him balking recalcitrantly when he doesn’t like where we’re going, or him pulling maniacally whenever he’s frightened by a barking dog (or a tiny kitty), or when he plain just wants to get home.
He loves to tease. He runs down the stairs to grab a stray shoe, but he doesn’t really want to chew on it. No – he brings it back upstairs, and sits on the rug looking at us with the shoe hanging out of his mouth, waiting for us to go over and say “no!” and then he tries to make good his escape before we can catch him.
He knows he’s not allowed on the sofas, but he’ll climb up anyway and stare at me until I say, “déscend!” And he still won’t move until I come over and pull him off. If I happen to be in the kitchen, he’ll bark until I come out, just to show me that he’s up on the loveseat – daring me with his eyes. Pesky little bugger.
Hey! Where’s that slavish adoration I heard about?
No, not me. You!
Yesterday I went to sit down, and just as gravity took over, he stuck his head in between my rapidly descending butt and the chair. Afraid I would crush him, I jerked to the side onto my left butt cheek, toppled the chair over, and fell into the corner of a piece of furniture right between my shoulder blades.
“Oh, oh, oooooh” I cried in shock and pain, rocking back and forth with Hunter madly running over me and jumping all over me.
I stayed seated until the pain subsided, and when Hunter stopped freaking out, he lay down between my legs and rolled over on his back so I could pet his belly. He stayed for a long time like that, making peace – saying sorry, I think. And when I finally got the courage to get back up, he sauntered down to his crate for a nap, as innocent as you please.
Dogs are gross, but somehow I think we’re stuck with this one.
Have to admit, Hunter is adorable. I think, however, that YOU should start wearing a helmet, elbow, and knee pads!