A Lady In France

Honoring Mothers

Yesterday, Alexandra from the blog Good Day Regular People (my roommate at BlogHer and my friend) had to say goodbye to her mother. She first said goodbye on Monday, and in her own words, it was like this: “She gave us two deep sighs, then sailed away on poems and roses.”

Alexandra then said goodbye again in her eulogy at the funeral yesterday, and proclaimed a truth I know well from personal experience: “That’ll be the easy part. It’s the days that will follow, after our frenzied pace has passed, that will leave us bone weary and looking at the thousands of steps before us that we now have to take, without them.”

Erin and Dana contacted some of Alexandra’s friends with a means of showing support, though we are all so far away. They proposed a way we could proclaim our solidarity, and by doing so, prove that a lot of the friendships we make online are as real as they come.

The idea was this: let us celebrate a pastime with our own families that her family enjoyed before her mother passed away. They ate ice cream together.

If you want to join in (and really, who doesn’t want to go out for ice cream?), you can use this hashtag on twitter to signal that you have lit your candle (licked your cones) in her honour: #icecreamforAlexandra.

It’s more than ice cream, obviously. It’s about taking time out of routine to nurture the relationships that matter. I got to see my own mom this past week when we visited the Carolinas, and I’ll post about that soon. I’m grateful my parents are all young (my parents and their spouses) and I’m grateful I’m not cheated out of time with them, even though they live far away. I’m grateful they are young and spry enough to come visit us in France. And when I hear about Alexandra’s loss, I’m grateful that I have just a little more time. Knowing her, I think she would want this for me.

The thing I first noticed about the ice cream place we chose was that it carried my son’s name.

ice cream cThe second thing was that it talked about angels. I thought Alexandra would really appreciate that detail.

ice cream bAnd everything was homemade, which is kind of a mom thing in my eyes.

ice creamAnd they had sugar cones with sprinkles.

ice cream fWe ate at the picnic table outdoors

ice cream ewith friends and family

ice cream dlicking cones and enjoying our time together,

ice cream gexploring the terrain

ice cream jand stopping to sniff the flowers.

ice cream kIt’s a good thing, stopping to taste.

ice cream hIt’s a good thing, stopping to look, and touch, and smell.

ice cream lIt’s a good thing to love this much . . .

ice cream ieven though this much love sometimes means pain.

#icecreamforAlexandra

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Comments

  1. Jenny says

    Your last line resonated with me so much. When we love this much, we feel that pain deeply. A love like that never leaves our hearts and our souls. We carry it with us always.

  4. Korinthia Klein says

    That’s lovely.

    I just spent a tough week with my parents helping out as my dad was moving from a rehab facility to back home after a bad fall. I feel I’ve had too much time to think about how much my parents mean to me and what it will be like to live without them someday.

    I did take my mom out for ice cream one night, just to give her a break. So I’m going to count that as my tribute in honor of Alexandra and her mom.
    Korinthia Klein recently posted…Watching “TV”My Profile

  5. Alexandra says

    Oh my goodness, Jennie. I am humbled, moved, left without words for how GOOD and KIND people have been to me. I can only keep saying thank you, and hope that people realize I take NONE OF THIS LOVE and caring for granted. I am appreciative, overwhelmed with the love that I”ve been shown, and the moments people have stepped out of their daily lives to create in honor of my mother. How I wish she knew, so many, so very many, having ice cream. For her. I had some tonight. By myself this time, and though it was not what I imagined I’d be doing two weeks ago, I licked along the sides, with a lump in my throat, and thought of the wonderful sweet memories of doing just that… having an ice cream, with my mother. THANK YOU Jennie. xo
    Alexandra recently posted…We’ll Make ItMy Profile

  6. ParisReally says

    Lovely. And so poignant since we all will have to say goodbye, and our precious children will too someday. Again. Lovely.

  8. Andrea says

    Beautiful post, Jennie. And pictures. And family. And you. Reading posts like this are so very encouraging – that we are not alone in this world, and that even though we are far-flung, we can still support and love each other.
    Andrea recently posted…On the FridgeMy Profile

    • ladyjennie says

      Yup. Even online friendships can be real (especially when it’s cinched by actually meeting). We have a date at BlogHer next year if all goes well. 🙂

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