Goodness gracious, I am depressed! I suppose this is not unusual in one who struggles with depression, but I must say I am used to the medicine doing the trick and being able to live my life full speed ahead.
It’s partly the new puppy, yes, although I will thank well-meaning persons not to say “I told you so” or suggest we made a mistake. We did not. It’s rather hard to have a newborn and you might be tempted to complain about it, but you don’t want to hand it back either.
And yet, when you have a newborn, you don’t go back to work the next day or cook all afternoon for a holiday meal straight off, or fill your schedule chock full to the brim that very same week, which is precisely what I did.
I need time to slow down a little bit until my boys aren’t afraid of the dog anymore (and until I’m not afraid either when he jumps and nips). I need that vet appointment tomorrow morning and that trainer appointment Saturday afternoon to know how to handle our little guy.
My husband and I (who slept with Young Lady strapped to a car seat in the middle of our bed for the first week until our pediatrician said to “just stop it”) look at each other and laugh and throw up our hands as we admit we know nothing about dogs.
I need to take a break from all this running around.
I’m also weighted down emotionally by one diagnosed serious illness in our extended family and one threat in our immediate.
And I’m weary to the point of collapse from ferrying our children across the expanse from one dog-free zone to the other (our house is so little he occupies the laundry room, which is a passage).
So. We were running low on dog food.
When they said 15k plus 3kilos extra, I rather thought they would send it in smaller format. Where are we going to put this red monstrosity?
But the enormous package brought to my notice just how often I’ve been seeing red lately. Perhaps it was sparked by the fact that the very same day the dog food arrived, this little package arrived too, containing . . .
My friend Pierre is an eyeglass designer (he has his own business and is doing quite well). He names each of his designs after a friend. Allow me to present the “Jennie” – a surprise gift that made my day.
This bracelet was a present for my birthday, which is lovely on the wrist, but also makes a nice candle base.
And this painting by Sir’s grandfather was for Sir’s aunt – actually the sister of his daughter’s husband, if that makes any sense. Even though they were not related, they got along well, both of them possessing the spirit of an artist. She asked him to put a splash of color to brighten his usual uniform and somber painting, so he added this – just a point of red in the middle of grays and browns.
There are pictures framed in red on our burgeoning wall of fame.
And tartan red to brighten our beige quarters.
All around I’m seeing red
but still I’m feeling . . .
My sweet friend.
I wish I could wrap my arms around our blueness and banish it.
But since I can’t, let me add the red of my heart to your list.
Love you.
(yes i do.)
XO
Oh Julie – your comment made me laugh and cry at the same time.
You are really awfully special, you know.
I know this blue amidst the bustle and the red. Wish I could ease it for you. xo.
Thanks my dear. It is getting a bit better, especially knowing this week is less charged.
Oh, I am sorry to hear this. Really, really hoping the dog trainer can help you with the discipline problems. The first few weeks are really tough, but then it should get better.
But how cool is it that you have designer glasses named for you!!
I know about the glasses – right? We did have the trainer come and will do puppy classes when he’s old enough, around 6 months. Things should start to get better then.
I’m so sorry my friend…the holidays can be oddly exhilarating and depressing all at the same time. I hope you see more red than blue soon…
Thanks dear. 🙂
I’m sorry, but I do understand.
My triggers are holidays, and the change of season.
Also, I have nothing to be sad about, but am: which makes me even sadder.
I understand, and am so sorry. It’s so hard. And people say it’s mental, but how I feel it as physical.
xo
It can be like a heavy weight on the shoulders, right? And then all of a sudden – snap! It’s gone. I don’t know why.
{{HUGS}}
I wish I could help ease the blues. xo
Thank you.
Oh hun! I’m so sorry to hear that puppy is brining you down! I do know how much drama a new dog can bring into your life. We added 2 lab puppies to our life at the same time!! Dumb Dumb Dumb. The BEST thing we ever did was a dog trainer/puppy classes. Good for the dog to have some rules, and kind of sad but true, the weekly doggy class became “date night” for Hubby and I. Turned a negative into a positve! Puppy will learn, it will get better. 🙂
Oh goodness 2! And I thought I had it bad! It will get better – I know it will.
Slowing down is always a good idea, especially for a mother of three young children and a new puppy during the holiday season who has family health worries on her mind! Yikes…no wonder you are feeling blue! Take some time to recharge your batteries, and really do just accept that the first few weeks with the puppy are going to be tough no matter what. Wishing you patience and grace…
I keep remembering what you said about early puppy days. We will get through this, I know we will.
new dogs and holidays and birthdays…that sounds like a trifecta of triggers, to me. I will say, though, that your blue nails did cheer ME up (and isn’t it really all about…me? Oh. Wait. whoops. Sorry)
Anyway – sorry you’ve got the blues. Yes, slow down, breathe, take the damn dog for a long walk with no other children in tow, and maybe cry in the rain a little bit.
Hugs
I liked the blue nails so much I removed the polish and painted them straight away again. Of course in between paints, my nails look like death. 😉
I’m sorry, my friend. I find the holiday season is tough in general for those of us in the depressed bracket…and exhaustion can’t help.
Here’s hoping you see yellow (for sunshine) soon.
Yes, yellow is much, much better! (Since red is for anger anyway).
I’m so sorry to hear you’re blue! I wish I could give you a hug. Not that it would help much, but just so you’d know you’re not alone.
And please ignore anyone who says ‘I told you so’ re: the dog. Don’t these people know that anything worth having in life- spouses, children, homes, careers, pets- are all hard work? 😉
You are so right! All the important things take work. I needed to remember that.
The puppy phase will pass 🙂 and than you won’t regret a moment of it. But for now, hang in there and pray the puppy integrates faster with everything. It is tiring and stressful but worth it after all that trouble. I hope the phase passes really fast so you can enjoy more. ^^
For now.. try to relax?
Good idea. Relax! Just have to release all that tension in the shoulders. 🙂
Oh my dear Puppy Mother, there are just times like this. I send you buckets of love in, well… buckets.
Yes, I’m going to be contacting you, Lesley and D’Anne (the dog trifecta) for advice!
Originally, I had a much longer comment, but I realized it only takes three words to say I LOVE YOU my friend. <3
Kathy, it’s so great to hear from you. Thank you for the much-needed love. 🙂
You know that you can email me when you’re like this. I totally get it and I am so sorry that you’re feeling this way. It isn’t fair. Not at all.
Sending so much strength to your extended family member xox
Except I can’t e-mail you because it still doesn’t go through. 🙁
I can still stalk you on your blog though. 😉
Sending you a giant, trans-Atlantic hug. I am so intimately familiar with the feelings you describe here and wish I would help pull you to the other side of them. In the meantime, I will send every good wish to you and to your ailing family members.
Thank you so much Kristen.
know your pain about the puppy… it get really crazy. head up, it will get better. warm hugs!
Thank you Ewa, I do so need to hear this.