This book is now available on Amazon, as of December 8, 2013.
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:37-39
CHAPTER EIGHT
I extended my stay in Paris by a month in order to help the family pack up their boxes for a two-year move to Dijon. I was hoping that Olivier would realize that he didn’t want me to leave, the more my departure became imminent. When he didn’t show any signs of anguish, I pushed it back yet again, still hoping for something – some sign. But after finishing his military service, he was just too focused on getting a job to add anything else to his agenda.
In spite of it all, I was quietly content that month, spending all day carefully organizing and packing their entire house in calm solitude. The summer light flooded through the tall French windows and I sat on the herringbone wooden floors, carefully sorting the colorful pieces to children’s games and wrapping the china plates in newspaper. I found order in the perfectly wrapped boxes, which I couldn’t find in my own life. And when the final day arrived, my boyfriend and I spent our last evening in my little empty room with my suitcases shoved against the wall.
This is the end of Part One.

I paused before posting pictures of my baptism, which must be wholly un-relatable to about 95% of you. But then I figured – heck! I can’t really get any more vulnerable than my memoire, so I threw in the towel on modesty, and here I am. And no – in case you were wondering – I didn’t “feel” any differently afterwards. Just wet. 😉

The only reason there are even any pictures at all is because I was baptized in the home of a photographer – a French-American one at that – who later shot the photos at our wedding. (Hi Sissi!)
It truly is preordained, isn’t it?
Even though I firmly don’t believe he wanted me more than he wants any one of us, it does seem that way – that there was a deliberateness to it all.
An incredibly honest and moving chapter, beautifully told. And in those pictures you simply glow–and it’s not just the water!
A heartfelt thanks Deborah!
I love reading your memoir. It is the first post I read every Monday morning.
When I was a teenager, my friends and I did a study on baptism together. One of us had never been baptized, and a couple of us were baptized when we were too young to appreciate the meaning of it fully, and we decided we all wanted to do it again, together, really understanding what it meant. On a weekend trip out of town we had a baptism in the hotel bathtub. I had to tell you that, as you are the only other person I know who had a bathtub baptism.
Ooh Tracie – that is so cool. What a heart you and your friends had to do that on your own initiative. And yeah – I mean, for the baptism, all we need is water (and faith and repentance) after all.
thank you so much for sharing! i ended up here after looking for a recipe for pureed vegetable soup, never thinking i’d get to read the beautifully-written story of how you came to know Jesus! i look forward to reading it on mondays now, in chunks, while i nurse 🙂
Emily, I’m so happy to have you here!! 🙂
It really is a gift to read about your journey, both geographically and spiritually. There are truly signs, aren’t there, when our hearts are open to possibility?
It’s true – there are signs when one is ready to hear it. I’ve heard so many stories, some just incredible, of SIGNS.
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
~~~one of my favorite verses of all time. I Looooooove so much.
I was baptized about 6 years ago. I was sooo scared to be dipped into that water in front of the entire congregation!
Inspiring journey, dear… FAaaaBUlous photos! WOW Xxxx
Mm – I know. I was so moved by that verse when I first heard it.
A testimony to us all that God loves and knows each of his children, no matter where they are in life.
Yup!
Your life is like a movie, to me, reading it here. I think you should think of writing a book and then the movie can be made some day. 🙂 You’ve seriously has some truly amazing experiences. I’m blown away.
You’re so sweet Elaine! 🙂
Actually, this is my book. I will try to get it published for those who are not crazy about having to click onto each post separately, but for now, the system of editing and publishing the book a chapter at a time works for me.
I was dunked without my consent…hee hee. I was only a few months 🙂
I really hate it when someone says this to me so it bothers me to type it but sometimes things do happen for a reason…or they just seem to fall together…
You have a beautiful and descriptive memory. I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast 🙂
xo
I only hate it when people say things happen for a reason, and the “thing” is something I don’t want. 😉
Most people get dunked (or sprinkled) as a baby when they’re not an active participant, but I wanted to make a conscious choice. And as for the memory – I revise the chapters many times and bit by bit the details come back. The first time through was really just a plain sequence of events, void of all life. Mwah!
Loved this and love you! I love how you really take us back there. The ambivalence, the inner struggle. Love it!
I read Chapter 8 today. I was in it! I love how God reached out to you all over the world. You are so loved by God – he gave you so many chances! I’m so happy Genieve is the one that met you because that means I got to be part of your life. Can’t wait to read more……
Oh shucks – these were fond memories, weren’t they?
Hi Jennie,
Thanks for the shout out and glad we could help you out all those years ago! I still remember working out to Denise Austin in my living room. So funny.
Hope you are well.
best,
Lisa
I really do remember Lisa. None of your sweetness was lost on me! Thank you! 🙂
I always cry when witnessing a baptism. Your faith journey is remarkable to read, and I am amazed at how descriptive your memories are. The pictures add an element of realism that reminds me that THIS IS YOUR LIFE. I feel so humbled and honored to read your story. Truly.
I cry when I see a baptism too.