Boundary Lines in Pleasant Places

There is a refrain in my head that comes from Psalm 16: “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.”

I remember these words time and again because boundaries are not easy for me. I struggle against them. I kick at them. I forget them. I trample over them.

There are periods in life where this weakness is more evident than others, and Christmas is probably one of those times. I eat more than is good for me, I spend more than I should. I plan a zillion events because I want to throw love and service far and wide.

And suddenly I am spent. My boundaries are in pieces, and  so am I.

Then I remember that the boundaries are supposed to be pleasant! PLEASANT. They are not something to kick against or to trample. They should not be forgotten.

And I think the reason God made boundaries to be pleasant is found in Proverbs 25:28

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.

Why Are Boundaries Good?

When you have no boundaries, you’re a city with no walls. The enemy can come in and destroy. You’re vulnerable. Helpless. At the mercy of anyone stronger than you. (i.e. Satan). And with no walls, everyone is stronger than you. God knows this, and wants to protect you against it.

I apologize in advance for the example I’m about to use, but having no boundaries reminds me of the term “leaky gut.” I have definitely suffered from my share of stomach ailments with an intolerance to gluten. For someone intolerant, eating gluten destroys the walls of your intestines. And without those walls, you have no armour. The nutrients cannot reach the rest of your body, and any parasite or toxin can come in and make his home.

Walls are a good thing! So are boundaries.

I’ve long wished to view my boundaries as pleasant, and not restrictive. But it’s hard. And it’s subtle because there are many factors – plus an entire past – that come into play when trying to set and keep boundaries.

Let me give you a visual.

The red circle is to enclose everything that falls within the pleasant places. I think of Galatians 5, which talks about freedom in Christ. It warns against a litany of sins. But then it lists the fruits of the Spirit. And it says that against such things there is no law.

For years I wondered what that meant. “Against such things there is no law.” And one day I finally understood. There is no law against love. No one is ever going to tell you it’s wrong to love, or you need to set a limit on how much you love. In the same way, there is no law against joy – or peace, or forbearance … you get my drift? There is no need to limit those things.

The red circle is like that. In my red circle, I put things that are not under law – like rest, eating vegetables, writing, cleaning, family time, prayer, Bible study, and more. I don’t need to limit those things. They will not harm me, even in excess. (Trust me, I will never go overboard on the vegetables).

The blue line is yet another boundary. Because there are some things, which are not harmful in themselves – and are within the pleasant places God establishes – but they are harmful in excess. (This is such a personal exercise because what is harmful to me will not be harmful to you, and vice verse). Take a look:

Okay – outside the solid boundaries that God has set for me are things like impurity, consumer debt, laziness, excess, gluten (because I’m intolerant), and alcohol (because I have a past).

But there are things that fall between the two circles – they are within my pleasant boundary lines, but only if they do not clash with the pleasant filters –  things like health, time, budget, or self-control.

Let me give you an example. I just discovered a company in the UK that makes gluten-free AND alcohol-free beer. I’m so excited. I feel like God has given me a gift that falls within the pleasant boundary lines He established for my life.

But … the beer is expensive to ship and you have to order it by cases. So this purchase can’t be a regular thing or it clashes with a different filter – budget – and goes beyond the boundary lines into excess. (The same holds true for my gluten-free and organic special purchases).

Here’s another example. Facebook. I’m a blogger and writer and I moderate 3 private groups on Facebook. In a sense it’s intricately related to my work and is not, in and of itself, a bad thing. But I can use Facebook for work, pleasure, and for encouraging others (within the boundaries). I can also use it to escape because I don’t feel like vacuuming the floor or editing a chapter in my book (outside the boundaries).

I didn’t include the example of “acts of service,” but I think that falls outside the red circle and inside the blue. Because although loving others is always good and within the boundaries, loving others doesn’t always mean saying ‘yes’ to them.

It’s outside God’s will for my life if saying ‘yes’ clashes with health (because I’m going to fall into depression from stretching myself too thin). Or self control (because I’m going to eat a plate of cookies to make myself feel better over the fact that I’m doing something I really don’t have the energy or joy or time to do).

Image to pin for later:

Why Are Boundaries Hard?

Why are boundary lines so hard to embrace? I think it comes from deep-rooted patterns of behaviour and thought. Now here, I’m going to use one of my own problems to illustrate my stumbling block. It might not be an issue for you, but perhaps you’ll be able to relate it to something in your own life?

I have trouble not overeating, and sometimes I try to conquer the bad habits by creating my own boundaries, like deciding to eat low-carb. I created the boundary by saying (for instance) that carbs are outside my pleasant boundary lines. But that’s just something I made up! And because it’s my own creation and not God’s, I have no power to carry it out.

Colossians 2:21-23 “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

Trying to set an artificial boundary – one that’s not clearly created by God – sets yourself up for failure. Because (to continue with my personal example), an artificial boundary of eating low carb as a way of controlling amounts doesn’t deal with the root of the problem. And it doesn’t take into account some other integral parts of my personality:

I love to entertain, and I consider it an act of love to set out a wide variety of food that tastes good.

I love to blog about French foods, and the types of recipes I want to feature don’t really allow for a restrictive diet.

I have a history of trying to restrict foods and have failed. I know there will come a time when I won’t want to accept the self-imposed limits, so why bother even beginning to set them? I don’t want to fail again.

I’ve noticed that when I create artificial boundaries – ones that God didn’t set for me – I only want to break them, and it muddles the true boundaries that God has lovingly encircled me with.

That’s why I felt I needed two circles in my boundary visual. I needed the red circle which contained things that God gave me to enjoy without limit. And then He gave me other things to enjoy within the filters of love, self-control, health, etc.

So man-made boundaries don’t work in restraining sensual indulgence. God takes into account our pasts and propensities when he gives us boundaries. That’s why His work and ours don’t. However, we need to pray for wisdom to know what the boundaries are. And we need to pray for joy to view them as pleasant. And we need to pray for grace that we will have the strength to respect them.

How I Used the Boundary Worksheet

I was out today and I got my rare cup of Starbucks coffee. In this instance, I was not abusing caffeine (so was within the boundary of self control). We had the money for this small pleasure (so was within the boundary of budget). And knowing that I was within my boundaries allowed me to fully enjoy it. The coffee I wanted was a Christmas special with caramel and hazelnut and had little crunchy bits on top, that I knew without asking were gluten.

In the past I wouldn’t ask them to leave it off. I knock over boundaries like cardboard, both because I’m rebellious, and because I care so little about doing what is good for me. But I remembered the visual I had created, and in my mind, saw gluten well outside the boundary God had set for me. So I told them to leave it off. It made me feel free.

Later, I was speeding and remembered my own little boundary image where breaking the law is clearly outside of my pleasant places (duh), so I slowed down. And I felt free. Each time I feel free, I get one step closer to loving the pleasant boundaries.

(I have to confess that later I ran a red light near my home out of a plethora of reasons, springing mainly from stubbornness. I tell you this only to say that finding and revelling in boundaries does not equate perfection).

The Free Downloads

I want to offer two PDFs to download for free. The first is the one at the very top, which is completely blank, apart from the verse and the coloured circles. You can get that here.

The other one has some of the words filled in – the “boundary lines in pleasant places” on the red circle, and some suggested boundary filters that were helpful for me. It looks like this.

You can download that for free here.

So tell me – how are you with boundaries? If this is not one of your strong points, do you think the visual will help? What other techniques do you use to create boundaries, and what are some of the filters you think should be added, other than the four I’ve included?

Finally, if you found this to be helpful, I would be grateful for any shares on Pinterest, Facebook or Twitter. Hugs!

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