A Lady In France

Eight Takeaways from BlogHer ’14

I told myself that this would be my last BlogHer. It’s difficult to justify the expense when I am not speaking or serving in any kind of official capacity – even if I’m sharing a hotel room and using my husband’s frequent flyer miles for a free plane ticket to cut costs. Nevertheless, each year I’ve attended has proved invaluable for the things I’ve learned and the connections I’ve made.

In 2012, I learned the basics of self-publishing, as well as how to write a book proposal. I met the Marketing Director for Zondervan, and even though it didn’t work out for me to publish my memoir with them, it was the first time I put my work out there publicly. I also met a contact from the Huffington Post, and my writing has since appeared there a couple of times.

In 2013, I won VOTY again (the first time was in 2011) for A Sense of Security, and also got approached by the Queen Latifah team to submit posts to their website. This led to my writing for QL – usually recipes – whenever I have something good to share. I attended the sessions and furthered some of the friendships that had begun online, in addition to meeting new people.

This year, I didn’t win VOTY, nor did I speak or serve in any way. I went with the intention of hanging out with friends and flying under the radar. I didn’t even make a concerted effort to search for my big ziplock bag of business cards, and just went with the few that were in my wallet. Yet BlogHer surprised me once again – and I not only had a great time, I also left with a few takeaways.

One. At the grammar clinic with Arnebya Herndon and Rita Arens I learned what an M-dash is, that ellipsis are like this: … and not like this: . . . , that you must say “there are myriad ways” and not “there are a myriad of ways,” and I also learned that I probably just put that comma in the wrong place. Also? We laughed a lot. Grammar is fun.

Two. With two conferences under my belt, I no longer cared about how I looked. My favourite afternoon was the one before the conference officially began. A few friends and I hung out poolside in the hot sun, feet in water, an icy diet coke in hand. I did not let some extra flesh get in the way of missing that moment and I am SO GLAD.

Of course … when I was walking to the conference hall by myself two days later – in my cute little swingy top and black legging-tights – and someone sidled up to tell me that she thought I’d want to know that my tights were TOTALLY see-through (to which I replied that of course I wanted to know, and that I was gonna kill my sister, who assured me that they were fine, although all the blinds were closed when she checked) – in that humiliating moment where I still had to go to the breakfast before they removed the food, and then walk all the way BACK to the hotel (actually, even further to the Ross to get a second pair of leggings to put over the first) … in that moment I did care how I looked.

That was a run-on sentence. I need to go back to the grammar clinic.

Three. I met Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess for the family members who only read my blog). She blogs at The Bloggess (obvs) and is the #1 NYT Bestselling author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. She is so amazingly gracious that when I went to HER book-signing to get her book autographed, and I asked her if she would accept a copy of MY book (“you don’t have to promote it – I don’t want to use you” I said, pathetically) – she did not say that she needs another book thrust upon her like she needs a fork in the eye. Instead she said “sure!” And she took it.

Incidentally, if you like slightly irreverent hilarity, pure genius, and 100% genuineness, then you will love Jenny’s book and you should read it. If you don’t want to read it, but still want to be in the know, the secret word is “fork.”

Here’s us. Picture courtesy of @Lizz_Porter. Jenny is looking adorable. I am looking at the person who is not holding the camera.

Four. Race talks are still relevant. And essential. This – that racism still exists and what we should do about it – was the discussion that closed out the conference, and I’m embarrassed to say that I didn’t go because I didn’t want to miss out on my dinner plans (no phone with a US SIM card so I kind of had to latch on to people when I saw them). But I am passionate about this issue and I’d like to participate more in those talks going forward.

Five. I’m not a screenwriter, but I play one on TV.

I attended the session on screenwriting, even though I never want to write one (or play one on TV). It was basically so I could raise my hand and say, “I don’t want to write a screenplay. I just kind of wandered in here. But I’m wondering what the likelihood is of someone taking my story and turning it into a movie?”

(By the way, I wasn’t talking about my memoir, but about my current novel, which I’m putting up a chapter at a time, and which I will get back to. Apparently, travel, jet lag and conferences are not conducive to creativity).

Anyway, they didn’t throw me out, and I got to meet the lovely Johanna Stein, whose book I now have. You may have heard about her successful parenting trick of calming her chid on the plane by creating a puppet out of a barf bag? Successful, unless you think, “What’s better than one puppet, but two?”

And it’s only when you stick your hand in the second bag that you find out that this one is used. Introducing How Not to Calm a Child on a Plane, ladies and gentlemen.

Six. I may need to practice wearing shoes other than sneakers throughout the year so my feet don’t go into CSS. Cute-Shoes-Shock.

ouchie

Seven. I can still “walk this way.” You guys. Run-D.M.C. deejayed our closing party, hosted by McDonalds -outdoors under pink balloons and a California sky. They played all the eighties songs I knew, and –  I. danced. like. crazy. I cannot remember when I had so much fun. It is good for the soul to go dancing with friends and feel young again for the night.

Eight. My family appreciates me so much more when I go away for a week. My husband and I texted happy jokes while I was waiting in the interminable immigration line at CDG. (I really need to get a French passport so I can be a cool kid and go into the zippity fast line).

5 yr old William: “Mom. I like ratatouille now. You can make it for me. And I will eat it here. And I will eat it there. Say! I will eat it anywhere!”

8 yr old Gabriel: “Mom. You are so pretty. And I like your pants … ” (I was wearing yoga pants).

10 yr old Juliet: “I missed you so much” that she actually answered “okay” when I told her to clean her room, instead of rolling her eyes.

And – after being awake for 26 hours – when I scraped together the remaining edible groceries in our house to make a pasta dinner with tomato and ham sauce, and Matthieu said that he had been saving the ham to make sandwiches for the kids (even though there was no bread left to make it with), I simply said, “Well, I’ll go shopping tomorrow and restock the groceries.” He wept.*

*Disclaimer. My husband is afraid people will think he actually cried so I just thought I’d clear that up.

So yes, going to BlogHer makes absolutely no sense at all.

Except (ellipsis) that somehow it does.

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  3. Natalie D says

    I have wondered the same thing, about going to BlogHer being worth it. I passed out almost no business cards, but spent a lot of time with amazing people. I got home to a husband who was grateful to have me back. Though I don’t know the direction in which my blog is going, I’m glad I went…and of course, glad we got to say hi!
    Natalie D recently posted…In France: A World Cup StoryMy Profile

    • ladyjennie says

      Did we talk about this? That you don’t know which direction your blog is going in? Somehow I feel like we did, or I’m just projecting. It was a small miracle that we ran into each other without planning it, but I am SO glad we did.

    • ladyjennie says

      I know! I would have loved to have met you too. A lot of people were missing this year. I’m still on the fence about next year, but it’s not out of the question.

  5. anna whiston-donaldson says

    Love this! I wish I could have shared that amazing weekend w/you. Still so grateful and warmed by the time we spent together at BlogHer in 2012. Oh my goodness, JET LAG! I am kind of crawling around today, shaky and confused. XOXO
    anna whiston-donaldson recently posted…Talking TurkeyMy Profile

    • ladyjennie says

      It’s bad, isn’t it? I hope you all recover quickly. It’s even worse for the kids, who don’t know what hit them.

      I missed you this year.

  6. Arnebya says

    I love you. Your warmth, your honesty, your openness, your desire to help and learn and listen are unparalleled. Whenever I wanted to complain about jet lag, I thought Jennie : France and then all was well.
    Arnebya recently posted…Cynophobia, I Have ItMy Profile

  9. Kir says

    You’ve made BlogHer better for me. This can’t be your last one..we still have giggling to do. Xo
    Kir recently posted…EnsueMy Profile

  10. Tamara says

    Myriad of ways! I had no idea!
    What a fun recap. I always thought I’d sit back and someone would make my love story into a screenplay for me. Funny how that doesn’t work.
    Still. One day I’ll get to BlogHer, probably on this coast.
    I would love to meet Jenny. I do love her blog but I couldn’t read the book. It’s so weird. I thought I was cut out for it but I wasn’t.
    Maybe someday.

  11. Ann says

    Argh! Another thing I missed about Blogher14–not getting the chance to run into you! Maybe next year; in the meantime, I’m scouring blogs to see all the other stuff I missed.
    Glad you had a good time; and just for the record, I never believe my boyfriend or my family when I ask if something looks OK…
    Ann recently posted…My Yoga Works Any Time, AnywhereMy Profile

  12. LisaAR says

    I’ve always wondered when it is that a blogger gets to go to BlogHer. I’ve been blogging for nearly two years, and…I’d love to go. But…do I even qualify? And–is it always at the same time? It unfortunately is scheduled when we take an annual vacation, so…am I just out of luck? Or was I never in?

    At any rate, Jennie, I love what you share!
    LisaAR recently posted…The Cost of Being a Cocksure ConnoisseurMy Profile

    • ladyjennie says

      Lisa, you can! I’ve met people who had just started a blog or who were thinking about starting one. If you love blogging and the timing on this one isn’t right, there are also other (and possibly cheaper) blog conferences, although I’m not sure which ones are still going strong. Off the top of my head, Blissdom, Mom 2.0 and TypeA conference all come to mind. I’m pretty sure at least one of those is no longer meeting. Also, those are more intimate so you might even make better connections.

      Definitely not out of luck! 🙂

    • ladyjennie says

      But it made me laugh because you actually said, “To the homework!” instead of “goodbye.” See? You’re funny without even trying. I so loved meeting you. 🙂

  16. julie gardner says

    While training for a marathon, I once ran 14 miles in see-through compression pants.

    14 miles through my own neighborhood and neighboring neighborhoods and then even more neighborhoods because 14 miles is a long time.

    I didn’t know you could see my butt until I got home.
    I might still be blushing.

    (And I’m still sad about not making it to BlogHer this year but ohmyheavens how I love my family. It was a wonderful weekend with them all.)
    julie gardner recently posted…ProvisionalMy Profile

    • ladyjennie says

      You know what – as much as I missed seeing you, I think you made the right choice. If I had to choose between chilling out with loved ones or driving forEVER, I would choose the former. And we WILL meet one day. 🙂 In Paris?

  19. Jen says

    I wish I had met you there. My dual French-US citizen boyfriend and I are probably going to move to France in 4 years after his son graduates from high school in a house that his elderly cousin is selling him in the Loire Valley. It would have been cool to speak to someone who lives there now.
    Jen recently posted…A Blogher 2014 Re-CapMy Profile

  20. Tammy Soong says

    Meeting you was one of my highlights. You’re just a bucket of fun (and I mean that in the nicest way, with my views of a bucket being positive, not some bad thing that you might put terrible stuff into like those envelopes on the plane). Anyway, I’m just glad we connected. Poppy’s good for something…;)
    Tammy Soong recently posted…How to Create a Gallery Page in WordPressMy Profile

  21. Aussa Lorens says

    I loved this recap! I’m so late getting here. It’s almost to the point where I have full blown nostalgia for BlogHer… and I just googled M-dash, I had no idea that’s what that was called… and now I have officially learned something (and used way too many ellipses) so I think I’m done for the day.

  22. Andrea says

    Such a great post. I normally try to stay away from BlogHer recaps because it makes me feel bad that I CAN NEVER GO but I made an exception for yours. So glad I did. xoxo
    Andrea recently posted…Don’t Say ItMy Profile

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