I have three things to say, and then tomorrow we leave for a weekend in Normandy.
1. Fall this year has not been as much fun as usual. I normally love fall. I love the smells, the leaves turning colors, the fires in our fireplace, the pumpkin soups, the burgundy sweaters.
I love that my birthday is in the fall – and my husband’s birthday, and our wedding anniversary. William was born in the fall, and this time of year always means a new start – a move, a new career, a new country to explore. Everything good happens in the fall.
Until it doesn’t.
I don’t know why it escaped me last year, but this year I’m having phantom morning sickness. (And no, I am 100% NOT pregnant). The cloud of miscarriage bleakness has settled over me this year, having completely (seemingly) skipped last year. I’m confused. Why do I have phantom morning sickness this year when last year I seemed to be doing fine.
And the greater question – will I once again like fall and embrace it as I used to? Or am I just getting old?
2. I’m entering the final stretch for the Circle of Moms blah blah Top 25. Could you, would you VOTE again today and tomorrow please? It’s all over tomorrow.
And I will never, ever enter a popularity contest again. Because it’s really not about how brilliant my blog is, it’s about how persistent I am at begging for votes. Ugh.
And yet . . . here we are. And since I’m in it, I’d rather do well and not keep sliding backwards in the rankings. To vote, you just click on this link, find me, and click “vote” next to my name. It resets every 24 hours based on your IP address, and you don’t have to sign in or anything.
Begging for votes makes me feel like I belong in the doghouse.
3. I was supposed to rest my shoulders and hands this week from the carpal tunnel/ bad positioning/ stress posture I’ve been foisting on my body. But I didn’t do that. That’s all I have to say about that.
4. And I guess there’s a number four. I met with my editor this morning and it was THE most uplifting meeting. She said all sorts of positive things about my manuscript and I don’t have to do any major rewrites or anything (but the title will be changed, as well as a few other things). So everything is going along swimmingly for my book.
I just don’t have the money to publish it.
Maybe next fall?
I’m excited (although not surprised) at the good feedback on your book. And I voted for you.
Hopefully this trip will help you get new perspective, and you can home with lots of love for fall in your heart.
Tracie recently posted…Revolutionize Facebook #PostPositive
Thanks Tracie. Fall is a good month isn’t it? I would hate to have it spoiled for me.
Just voted. Good luck!!!
Thanks Sissi!
Are you self-publishing? Because that’s what I did with my novel, and through CreateSpace on Amazon it’s essentially free, so if money is all that’s standing between your book and us getting to read it, there might be a solution. (I’m happy to chat about it on email sometime if you’re interested.)
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Thanks Korinthia,
I am, but I’m publishing in e-book, print and kindle versions and I want a professional cover design and layout to go with it so that’s why it costs money. I’ll find a way somehow.
I’m so sorry I put you into that Circle of Moms madness!
So excited for your book!
Alison recently posted…Very Random Things
Aw, I’m still really touched that you thought to do it.
Anniversaries can hit us in the most unexpected ways every single year. I’m sorry that you’re not feeling fall this year. It really is a lovely season.
But there’s always next fall.
The meeting with your editor was a bright spot, though. And I’m glad she won’t have you do any major rewrites.
Take care of those arms this weekend! No lifting heavy bags. 🙂
Andrea recently posted…Little Black Cat
Yes ma’am! And thank you for your support. 🙂
I’m sorry to hear that you are not falling for Fall this year. Hugs, hugs and pumpkin soup.
Great news for the book! Can you self publish?
Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently posted…Fall cooking with Mama Kat: Choucroute de Colmar
I am self publishing, but not just e-book and that’s why it costs money. I’ll make it happen somehow.
I hope you’re soon feeling better! And that you find comfort as you suffer.
As much as I love autumn, it sometimes depresses me that everything will soon be bare and desolate. I remind myself that it’s only a temporary darkness before the resurrection of spring.
Connie Keller recently posted…I’m not a Zookeeper
I hope the great book news can overshadow a little of the sadness 😉 Enjoy your weekend.
Poppy recently posted…Are Your Crossfit Shoes Flame Retardant?
Fall is a lovely time of year. So sorry that it is not so great for you so far. Hopefully your time away will rest and recharge you and set on the path to enjoying it once again. Great news about your book, though!
And I voted. 🙂
Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted…First Love
Grief… it is truly a monster. I remember the first year that I did not get a soul crushing ache in March (the month my dad passed away). I thought maybe I was getting “better”. Wrong. You don’t get better or forget or any of that. You just have to roll with it when it comes and remind yourself that you have loved. That is why the loss is always so profound.
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Voted again! Happy to do it.
Voted, Mrs France. Xx
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Darling, I love the fall. I LOVE IT.
Have a wonderful vacation in Normandy. you deserve it. xo
Kristin Shaw recently posted…Look again
Jennie!! You’re #5 on Circle of Moms! Congratulations!!
I’ve had a thought: crowdfunding for the cover of your book?
So sorry to read about your phantom morning sickness, that’s terrible.
L x
Perhaps there is something similar in the air that reminds you of the exact feelings/symptoms you were experiencing. And those were ingrained in your mind and in your heart. It only takes one subtle thing to bring all of that up.
I used to love fall, but since the fall became the season where I’m severely depressed, it brings nothing but pain. I hate it. Just try to keep as busy as you can and you sound like you are!
Yes, the begging is crap. I didn’t really realize it and the fact that it is a huge promotion for them. Le Sigh.
Like what I did there with my French skills?
Kimberly recently posted…I Am “Monique”
I didn’t know this was your bad season. Oh, hugs my friend!!
My birthday is also in the fall, and I love that! Good people have fall birthdays (and winter, spring, summer birthdays ;))
I hope it went really well for you, Jennie, with Circle of Moms.
Finally, congrats on the manuscript – great news! I hope you will see it published next fall, and I’m sure you will!
Hillary recently posted…A Dress For One Day – In Paris (by Daniel Hylton)
I think Kimberly is right. It is nothing similar, I know, but this fall was difficult for me, because as soon as I entered late September, even the weather and my kids’ fall break reminded me of our car accident last year. I sunk into depression as all these recollections assailed me. All the associations are there, even the ones we’re not fully aware of, and our senses play with the memories.