Hi everyone, if it’s your first time here, you can read about the background of my story here in the Memoire Page. You can also find the previous chapters by clicking on the Memoire category (it’s different from the page) located in the black band at the top of the website between “The Family” and “The House.”
If you’d like to receive the weekly chapter installments, you can like my Facebook page, follow my RSS feed, or subscribe by e-mail (those buttons on the right-hand side). Thanks for reading!
PART TWO
A Lady hard-pressed
And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:5-7 & 11
CHAPTER NINE
I thought that becoming a Christian would mean that my life had finally spun neatly into place, my problems relegated to a distant memory.
But there were hurdles I hadn’t bargained for in my newly chosen path. There was submitting to the church culture I was now part of and learning to be unapologetic in my choice. With it, was surrendering to unmet expectations and disappointments as I discovered my beloved church to be full of human frailty. I had to come to terms with the person I was, and in spite of it, believe that I was still worth something. And last, but not least, I had to abandon my autonomy in favor of obedience to God. That lesson was the hardest learned.
Oblivious to these obstacles at first, I was naively happy. It wasn’t so much in being “saved” that I found my joy; I was more happy about belonging to a church full of young, dynamic people, the half of which were men. I was happy that I had finally found the path to perfection, although I would have been hard-pressed to articulate such a thought in all its sincerity. Everything was new and shiny. I had been married to Christ and was on honeymoon with his church. Oh, but how brief the honeymoon was before the divine discipline began.
It was almost inevitable that my impressionable, formerly-pagan mind would be this scatterbrained. How could I not be seduced when my once-lonely life became a whirlwind of activity, friendship, and the new concept of fellowship – the shared faith that drew the diverse lot of us together. And all of this was happening in the exciting city of New York, which suddenly grew much more intimate in face of such extended family.
The whole of this book is now available here!
The last two lines – love it.
🙂
These words from your heart will take you around the world speaking to other hearts … I do love it all, altho I wish I could reach in and hug you – often.
Me too. We’ll get our hugs at BlogHer!
The sober estimate of oneself — that’s a perfect description. This is such an incredibly uplifting read.
Really? I’m so glad you think so. My book can be hard at times, but I always want it to be uplifting.
This is an incredible journey, Jennie. I love that you’re sharing it and all your reflections about it.
Thank you dear Robin. 🙂
Such a fascinating story, Jennie. I look forward to reading it as I would a good book!
I’m so honored to have you read it Kristin!
I admire the perspective and wisdom and truth in this chapter.
Thank you dear Anna.
I am really enjoying reading your memories, so courageous and honest. Thanks for sharing your gift of being able to articulate so well your feelings and experiences. It is inspiring.
Hi Fiona – thank you so much for reading and letting me know you like it.
i think you strike the perfect balance of telling your story from the perspective of your past-self, without being too hard on her, while still managing to show how God’s changed you. it wouldn’t be quite as compelling to read if you were just like, look how stupid i used to be, i’m so much wiser now. not that i wouldn’t want to hear your story if it weren’t well-written, but the beauty of God’s work in your life is well-displayed 🙂
also, i hope you don’t go into hiding this week, as spring is coming soon and there is no shame in being delivered from a sin that easily entangles! we all have ’em!
Thank you Emily, for this all-around super-encouraging comment! 🙂
You know I love you right?
I think everyone interprets divine intervention differently…once I believed that God told me to slow down when I was speeding by flicking off 4 street lights in a row. I didn’t get a ticket…but really in the grande scheme of things, we are but one of millions of people here that “He” watches over. I don’t know where I’m going with this…
I just love you and I love that you openly share your faith with so many.
I was the girl at church that went and stayed silent in the back row. I left when it was done and never interacted with the people in my community. Going to church was a chore…perhaps if I got more involved I would have held onto my faith.
I’ll e-mail you Duckie. 😉
I LOVE how open and honest you are, Jennie. Can’t wait to read Chapter 10.
Oh my goodness. I’ve heard of pennies from heaven, but never ice cubes.
Love this portion of your story, where we are learning about your true self right along with you.