This book is now available on Amazon, as of December 8, 2013.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life.”
Isaiah 43:2 & 4
CHAPTER FIVE
I was more confident when I went back to Taiwan. I felt like I could hold my own, having lived in two foreign countries and in Manhattan, being able to speak two languages and having a French boyfriend to write letters to. I was also confident because I knew the ropes. I took the bus straight from the airport to Taichung on my own, and directed the taxi driver in Chinese to where I would be staying. I exited the cab in the small alley with the red metal gates, and rang the bell of my old home.
The new team of teachers greeted me warmly and joked about my shoes, which were still polished, and about my ability to speak English in complete sentences. I remembered how everything grew dusty over time – those new shoes and the ability to speak English naturally instead of eliminating all the particles in order to be better understood.
Oh, Jennie.
I cannot even imagine the pain, the grief.
I know it’s been many years, but I am so, so, sorry for your loss.
xoxo
Thank you friend.
I knew what this chapter was going to bring and yet.
It still hurts.
I’m so glad I also know that brighter days are ahead for this Jennie. She deserves all the joy and love life brings.
You deserve it.
Yes – this Jennie has many bright days ahead. I almost want to shout that as a caveat before people read this post.
Dear God. So very sorry that all of you had to go through that. I’m glad I knew that you’ve emerged from this darkness before I read this chapter…
I know – it’s gruesome without that knowledge isn’t it? But my tears during the editing of this chapter were cleansing ones rather than tears of despair. Nineteen years does wonders.
I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. I must say that your writing is absolutely captivating and beautiful.
Katie, I’m glad to see you here. Thank you for reading and for your words of encouragement.
So hard to read. So well written. I love you.
So sorry for your loss. What small treasures lie in the actions of your friends during that time. Thanks for sharing.
Trying to type with tears streaming down my face. An incredibly tragic time for you and your family, but even at the darkest of times, there are acts of kindness that you remember.
From now on, I’m just having a box of tissues next to me when I read your posts.
There’s joy too! I promise!
it’s amazing where we come from and where we get to go. i’m so sorry for the loss of your brother. suicide is so heartbreaking.
I know – all of us have some sort of a past with heartbreak as well as joy.
Oh, I know there is joy. I’ve seen their little faces and the magical place that you have created for them.
Dearest Jennie — your story is heartbreaking and the fact that you are the person you are today, a loving wife and mother, is testament to your courage and strength. Trite words, but true. Kisses to you and congratulations of walking down the road of writing this book. I’m writing my own and recognize how daunting it can be. xo S
I can’t wait to read yours! 🙂
I read all of the chapters in one sitting – great skill to being us in right alongside where you are at. This chapter is so sad, it just break my heart.
Caryl
I am struck dumb by the power of what you’ve written, but I want you to know that I am grateful to you for sharing your story – this chapter and all chapters – in spite of your loss.
How horrific……heartbreaking……….your description of the journey back completely drained me………changing the subject…..olivier sounds like a complete arse……….
I know. I wanted to add/write that this was a one-sided portrayal of my ex, but my husband wouldn’t let me. 😉
To be fair, it is one-sided and mainly focused on the negative, he was very young (22) and could only think about his career at that stage. And I just wasn’t the one for him, so he only gave me a limited portion of his heart. That’s what hurt the most at the time.
But yes, I’m not being kind. LOL (And thanks for reading and commenting).
The reality of this chapter only hit me after I read it the whole way through. Shock gave way to tears, and tears to fondness for this young person who experienced so much. You have been given a gift for telling such a painful story.
Andrea – it means so much to me that you are here, reading. Thank you.
Even though I read about this before, it still hit me hard. I’m so sorry you and your family went through something as terrible as suicide.
Wonderful writing, as always.
Thank you Carole.
I wasn’t sure what to write as a comment as I have never experienced anything like what you experienced in this chapter. But wanted to say I continue to really appreciate reading your memoir, and look forward to chapters. Bon courage as you go on! (if that’s the right expression, my French is very rusty!)
I knew about what happened to Mark but I never knew the details. I have actually been reading your book waiting to hear the exact details. I am so sorry … I was crying myself at the thought of losing my own brother and for your lose. I now look forward to the more joyful part of your life-becomong a Christian and meeting your hubby.
Yes – the good part is yet to come.