A Lady In France

Oops! I Did It Again!

So …(shuffling papers in front of her), let’s look at the facts. You’re pregnant. Again.  And judging by the look of you, five months? 

Two months.

Aren’t you too fat to be pregnant?

Wha … what kind of question is that?

I mean, you keep gaining all this weight after the baby is born and you eat because you’re tired.

Yes, but I lose a lot of weight during the pregnancy and so I’ll just be more careful after the birth this time.

Yeah, that’s what you say each time but honestly I don’t believe it. This was supposed to be the year when you got back to your pre-pregnancy weight. And now look at you – you did it again.

(looks down)

(beating the point) With Petit Prince finally in school full time, wasn’t this supposed to be your year to reclaim your inner youth? Whatever happened to the yoga?

I had to stop. I found that I couldn’t lie on my stomach even early on. But you know, the yoga teacher was filled with warmth and encouragement. (perking up) She said that it was amazing news, that there are no accidents in the universe …

Right, well, (snap of the papers) aren’t pregnancies very difficult for you? Don’t you throw up every day for nine months?

…………. excuse me!  (retching heard in distance)

Okay let’s focus here. Haven’t you seen our overcrowded planet? What were you thinking, bringing a fourth child into the mix? Isn’t that a little selfish for people living in a first world country?

Well … my gynecologist was very thrilled for me. She said that babies are always good news.

Yes, well, that’s not surprising. The French pay people to produce little patriots.

And who knows, maybe my children will do something great for the planet. They could be doctors or …. alleviate famine or discover a cure for something – they could find the utopian solution for population control! (weak laughter).

There is a solution for population control and you can buy it for a few bucks in the pharmacy.

Well we did (mumbles) ..

What’s that? Speak up! Haven’t you already given all your baby stuff away?

Yes. All of it.

And, aren’t you too old to do this all again? I mean, you’ll be 42 this month! Do you realize that when your youngest is just twenty, you’ll already be 62 years old?

(whimpers painfully) (deep breath) Alright, that’s it. Get out, you and your stock arguments! I am sick enough already without having to battle my own personal demons.

I want happy, uplifting encouraging, faithful thoughts.

And … I think … no food posts for the time being.

 

 

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  4. mep says

    I think this is AMAZING news! A child is always a gift, even when we’re not expecting any more presents. Bonus! From the moment this child is born, you won’t be able to imagine your life without him or her. I’m sending prayers for good health and those feelings of joyful expectation that are your due. All is well.

  7. Hillary says

    Congratulations! Children with parents who love and nurture them in their development are not just a blessing to the people who have the hard, exhausting, emotional but beautiful job of raising them but they are also a blessing for society. God bless you as you raise up another outstanding member of humanity. As parents we know: this most difficult job if done with love, kindness, patience and justice benefits everyone who interacts with this human being, our child.

  14. Tonia says

    Yay!!! I’m so excited for you! I just had Mt first baby and I’m a year older than you! Babies are always wonderful news! (even if you throw up for 9 months- like I did) congratulations!

  15. julie gardner says

    Having read my posts for a while now, you must know how I feel about this news…

    Happy, uplifting, encouraging, faithful thoughts headed your way.

    And apparently a lot more love, too.
    Congratulations, sweet friend.

    I couldn’t be more excited for you.

  19. Carole says

    WOWEEEEE!! Congrats to you! That is just amazing news. I hope this pregnancy is smoother for you and you don’t have to throw up all the time. I was really sick the first time around, but no morning sickness the next. Keep saltine crackers by the bedside so you can eat a few before getting up. Worked for me. xx

    • ladyjennie says

      I’ve heard about the saltine crackers but they have gluten so they’re off limits for me. I’ve ordered some gluten free crackers so we’ll see if that works.

  23. SE says

    Congratulations! And as someone who grew up with 4 siblings I just want to say, I loved having a large family! There is something joyous and fun and supportive about it. (and, I am voting for a nanny for at least a couple of days, just so mama can do non-mama things.)

  27. Ado says

    Major congratulations. I’m envious. I also hope your pregnancy goes smoothly for you. PS: Remember to eat for two! (-:

  29. Ameena says

    I’m late in the game here but a huge congratulations to you! I think that people need to MTOB and keep their stupid opinions to themselves. I for one am thrilled for you!

  31. Leanne says

    OH MY FRIEND!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!! (you can’t see me . . . . But I’m doing a happy dance right now!!! Because no matter what you say, there is nothing like the love of child. I’m thrilled for you. CONGRATULATIONS! And let’s just state the obvious . . . You have absolutely BEAUTIFUL children!!!) 🙂

  33. Kate says

    Congratulations! Just congratulations! Four is a lovely number. Though sick for nine months isn’t. Tell that meany to leave you alone.

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