As I mentioned on my Facebook page, I have been too busy to read the Bible lately because I’m a big important writer now, and have been rushing to start each day in front of the computer, to try and do as much as possible before a child or a dog comes to claim my attention.
Yeah, so my dog chewed the computer cord in two.
I immediately saw the humor in it, despite the frustration, and chose to accept the discipline meekly rather than kick against the goads. However, as is often the case with divine discipline, we get pushed just a little farther and a little more until we trip over the edge of the dam and the torrent of how we’re really feeling comes out. And that is precisely what happened this week.
It’s been frustrating enough not to be able to keep up with responding to the comments on my blog, or commenting on other blogs, (or answering e-mails or ordering gluten free foods online), but it has been more than I can comfortably bear to have, what feels like, my livelihood taken away.
Chapter Sixteen on Kenya sits unedited on my blog, and has for an entire week, exposing all my redundancies and poor grammar for the world to see. And I have not even been able to start the multi-revision process of editing the next chapter, which finishes up our year in Africa, and which contains the gold nugget of our stay there – the essentials of what we experienced, which I remember more than the rest of the year put together.
My husband had to work until very late, so I could not ask his advice about getting a new cord. After placing one order with Amazon, which I immediately canceled upon reading the reviews, I ordered a new cord on my own, hoping that it would arrive quickly and feeling frustrated that no overnight shipping was offered, which I would have gladly paid.
Then my friend Christelle said, “But why didn’t you just go to Carrefour (supermarket)? They sell Macbooks there, and they would surely have the cord.”
But it was too late, as I had already ordered it and paid for “registered shipping,” which added time rather than speeding things up, as I later discovered.
My husband returned from Zurich, and I lay out all my woes before him. Being of a compassionate nature, he tried to splice the two bits of cord together, which I thought was pretty sexy of him.
But when he plugged the cord in, nothing happened. It hadn’t worked.
A mere one hour later, my new cord arrived in the mail! I was sure that I was witnessing my deliverance. But when I plugged it in, the computer still didn’t work. Matthieu had fried the computer with his inexpertly (sorry darling) spliced cable.
“That’s it!” I said in a huff. (Really, do I say things in any other way these days?) “I’m going to Carrefour to buy a new computer. I can’t be without my writing.” So I marched off to the supermarket and chose the cheapest MacBook Pro they had, only to have my solicitous knight in shining polyester jersey march back out of the stockroom ten minutes later, and explain to me that they no longer had any in stock.
“Okay, what’s really going on?” my husband asked me with his inquisitive gaze, sitting down next to me on the bed as I sat brooding with my arms folded, his words “It’s just a computer after all,” wisely left unspoken.
“Nothing is going the way I want it to,” I said, borrowing loosely from Lost in Yonkers. “My life is so frustrating with you always working and traveling all the time, and me having to keep so busy with English classes and the kids and the dog … and this stupid house, which always needs some sort of repair, and who’s going to plant the tomatoes? And I don’t know what I’m doing with my writing – where it’s going. What if it all comes to nothing? And now I can’t access anything online. My own life is not at all fun, and I can’t even escape into the lives of other people who are having a better time!”
Matthieu starts laughing, before schooling his expression into something resembling that of a good listener. “Well honey,” he said carefully, “at least you see it. Usually you know you’re frustrated but you can’t really explain what’s wrong. This is good! You’ve hit the crux of the matter. You’re not happy in your own life and you want to find some way to escape from it.”
So that’s it, my friends, in a nutshell. Perhaps I’d been well-served to be unplugged.
You’d think I would have used my time wisely to garden or do a Spring cleaning, but I just sat around with glazed eyes, moaning and rocking back and forth. And now that I have my brand new Macbook (bought the next day at the actual Mac store after price comparing, and not in a fit of pique), I still have loads of configuring to do before I can really get back to business. There’s no way I’ll have the next Chapter out on Monday. Heck, I haven’t even done the final edits on the one that’s already posted (that I managed to put up right before I lost power).
But … here are some pretty pictures to tide you over until I can get my act together.
And maybe try to get a life.
Everything is relative…even lives! Most people would say that you have an enviable life. You live near Paris, for goodness sake, have a handsome French husband and three beautiful children. You write, and are soon going to have your OWN little office. It all comes down to…YOU HAD A BAD WEEK! Next week will be better.
Yes ma’am, you sure are right. I was just having an online temper tantrum. 😉
This made me laugh … in sympathy. From this side of the computer, it appears you have a splendid life full of adventure and all things French, travel, and friends, gorgeous pictures, and a book that’s fabulous and actually getting written. I’d like to sink into it for a few weeks. That’s the danger of blogging I suppose, always imagining that other lives are better when really we all have our problems.
anymommy recently posted…Magic in the mundane
You said it! I look at your huge parental suite with something close to envy. I don’t envy Hampton Noodle’s healthcare though. ha ha I promise to come by as soon as I get caught up. Hugs!
Awww..how bout a big virtual hug. I know I get whiny at times and it helps that I have a husband who tries to offer his two bits. I shoot him down pretty often but he still does it and I love it.
I am sure it will get better soon. Its how you are looking at it right now and that will change 🙂
BTW I think splicing two bits of cord together is pretty sexy too 🙂
Shefali recently posted…45 Minutes
I’ll take that big virtual hug! 🙂
Oh honey, I’m sorry about the busted cable but yay, new computer!!
My life isn’t better. I am mostly in my apartment, in the middle of a concrete jungle, barely any greenery around me. The weather is hot, I am ALWAYS sweating, and I barely have any time to myself. 🙂
Alison recently posted…Scars
I know. Life in SouthEast Asia is not easy climate-wise. It would be so easy to stay cooped up inside with the ac. Do you have loads of plants in your apartment? And I hope you get a girl’s day out soon!
Oh, darlin’. xxxxxxxxxxxooooooooooo
dusty earth mother recently posted…It was Colonel Mustard in the Nursing Home with a set of Dentures
Love you 🙂
“It’s been frustrating enough not to be able to keep up with responding to the comments on my blog, or commenting on other blogs, (or answering e-mails or ordering gluten free foods online), but it has been more than I can comfortably bear to have, what feels like, my livelihood taken away.”
This right here: why I love blogging, and miss the interaction. But life has its seasons and right now: I am in the midst of caring for an ailing mother. Life, its seasons, means something entirely different for me right now. Deep breaths, adjust, and focus on what has been waiting for you all along. xo
Alexandra recently posted…This is 11
Ah, that’s the problem with showing your inner Paris Hilton for all the world to see. There is always, always someone who is going through something harder. Love you
Oh sweetness, come and sit by me for awhile and we will get thro all of this together xxxx
Sisters From Another Mister recently posted…Wordless Wednesday – Dreams
I would love that. And I know … everything is relative.
I just love your title. 😉
And I could probably use a spontaneous unplugging myself…
Lovely photos!!
Elaine A. recently posted…A Day in the Life
Ah, the dreaded unplug because your computer is a total jerk screen (like that one?)
Writing is difficult. It’s difficult to come up with wonderful and captivating stories of which you do time and time again. You pay attention to all the details and that’s why I keep coming back for more.
Stepping back is healthy. Know that in this blog world, your writing doesn’t own deadlines. Sure you’d like things to be out on certain times but if they’re not, the only person to chastise is your own pretty face.
Be easy on yourself and the cord chewing mutt. Oh and hide your dirty underwear. Trust me.xoxo
Kimberly recently posted…Mammoth Mom Myths And SEABUCKWONDERS Giveaway!
I am finally getting to the point where I can see what is causing my frustrations before the big explosions. I’m not saying there aren’t little ones but the big ones are pretty much gone. It has taken me a very long time to get here but it does feel good.
Kristen recently posted…Mother’s Day Giveaway
They ARE pretty pictures… and you’ve pretty much just described my whole sense of being the past month or so.
Which further solidifies that we are soul sisters.
So glad your computer woes are behind you!
Andrea recently posted…On Planning the Day
I could use a little unplugging myself. 😉
And don’t you wish it was acceptable for an adult to have a temper tantrum every once in a while? It would make times like this much easier to deal with! 🙂
Kimberly recently posted…Essence of Now: April 26
I wrote a post with the exact same meaning behind it today. I’m just cranky and mad at life and things aren’t going my way. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Writing through it is the only things I know to do. xo
Jessica recently posted…Will my attitude freeze this way?
I love this vignette! Your lovely photos belie the life woes that you write about. 😉