William

William is my wild card. When I was pregnant with Juliet and Gabriel – after knowing what sex they were, and what they would be called – I sent up a specific prayer for each of them about the qualities I wanted them to have. It’s funny because the prayers have come true so far – but with the answered prayers, some unexpected quirks. Hurdles that have to be overcome in order for the prayers to be fulfilled. I can’t really explain more without revealing personal stuff about my kids.

It makes me appreciate God, who has understanding far above our own, and who makes life vastly interesting.

With William, I ran out of ideas for specific prayers and just told God he could do whatever he wanted – create him however he wanted.  (You might think I’m being insolent towards God, but I don’t think he minds when we negotiate with him, like Abraham did when trying to save Lot’s city).

Well God is always surprising me with William. He’s funny, and seems like he doesn’t have a care in the world – or it seems he has his head in the clouds with no clue as to what’s happening around him. But then he’ll express something that is profoundly sensitive, or has deep meaning, or shows great understanding. He’s most definitely a wild card. I love it.

Anyway, you may remember that when I miscarried a few years back, we planted a peach tree in memory of the baby. Now, the kids call the peach tree ‘Alistair,’ which was his name. I wondered if William understood that the peach tree wasn’t Alistair, but only in memory of him, but didn’t press the issue too hard.

We recently moved ‘Alistair’ to a better location in hopes that it would have more sun, water, and nutrients than when it was so close to the laurel hedge. And yesterday, while we were waiting for the others to come outside so we could head to church, he and I had a conversation that went like this:

William – Mommy, come over here. Let’s go pray next to Alistair.

Me (curious, and following) – Okay. What do you want to pray about?

William – Well, you know, like when a king dies, they erect a statue for him and then everyone comes and prays to him.

Me – Alright, but you know we can’t do that because you can only pray to God, not a statue or a tree. There’s only one God.

William (disgusted by my lack of understanding), I know that. But let’s pray to God about Alistair.

Me (touched) – okay. You wanna go ahead?

William – God, I pray that you keep Alistair safe in heaven until we can see him again. I pray that we can all be together in heaven – me and Mommy, Daddy, Juliet, Gabriel – all my grandparents, and my cousins … I pray you take care of Alistair so we can all be together again in heaven. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Me (a puddle on the ground) – That was really great honey. It was a great prayer.

William – … Even though I’ve never seen Alistair. But you saw him, right?

Me – I did.

William – And Daddy and Juliet saw him.

Me – Daddy did, but Juliet didn’t. Alistair was dead when he came out.

William – But Juliet was born when Alistair came.

Me – Yes, she was.

William (taking Gabriel’s presence for a given here, I think) – And was I born too when Alistair came?

Me – Yes you were. You were already here.

William – Hey! If I was born when Alistair came, then I’m a big brother! I’m not the baby anymore. I’m a big brother!

He skipped off, almost before I could smile and say, “Yes, honey, you are.”

 

Mommy? Know why I was looking at my feet? Because I was like a T-Rex chasing my prey. #instagramkids

A photo posted by Jennie Goutet (@aladyinfrance) on Jan 22, 2016 at 6:53am PST

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